11.06.05

What is this sensation?
Temptation?
There’s nothing that compares…
I feel it in me, the heat.
When you smile, does that make it worthwhile?
God you were the best I ever had.

Best of Rob Sheffield Quotes

“Jagger didn’t slow for a second, prancing around the stage and swiveling panther hips as if Lucifer was his Pilates instructor.”

Don't Smile When I Ping You

Hide your smile
When I ping you
Cause he'll know
You never smile
For him like that

Hide your smile
The one that twirls your curls
around your little finger
with the fancy diamond on

Hide your smile
The one that shrieks
When I touch you
Cause he'll never touch you
Like that

Hide your smile
At the dinner table
Order the lobster
Just save some
Room for later

Hide your smile
When I ping you
Cause he'll know
You never smile
For him like that

For The Southern Hoes

left the moonshine down south
and drank all the natty
now I'm a big city girl
may I call you sugar daddy?

see I've got nice manners
big hats, high heels but
none of that matters
If I can't be your candy

I loved a boy once
With pretty blue eyes
Sandy white hair
And a mouth full of lies

He rode a big truck
With a brain full of hay
Whispering sweet nothings
Like let's marry someday

So I felt in his pocket
Reaching for the jewels
But you can't buy my love
With pennies and bubblegum

Left the moonshine down south
and I drank all the natty
now I'm a big city girl
may I call you sugar daddy?

I found a studio palace
And bought a cashmere bed
Satin sheets with diamonds
Just can't pay the rent

Who cares if I'm 17
And your 45
I saw your Ferrari
I'm old enough to drive

Left the moonshine down south
and I drank all the natty
now I'm a big city girl
may I call you sugar daddy?

“Rules for a Congressman in Washington”

During the third session of the 76th Congress, on March 18 1940, Rep. Luther Patrick of Alabama outlined before his fellow members of the House of Representatives 10 simple “Rules for a Congressman in Washington” to succeed.

1. Entertain with a smile constituents, their wives, their sons, sons’ wives, etc. Go with them to the White House; show good reason why you are unable to personally have them meet the President; take daughters to meet midshipmen at Annapolis.
2. Explain what bill is up for debate; point for discussion; how it will be passed; how you will vote and why.
3. Attend to the balcony and point out leading members of Congress.
4. Respond to worthy causes; make after-dinner speeches, before-dinner speeches; learn to eat anything, anywhere, any night—work all day, dictate all night, and be fresh as a rain-washed daisy for next day’s duties.
5. Be a cultured gentleman, a teller of ribald stories, a profound philosopher, preserve a store of “Confucius say” gags; be a ladies’ man, a man’s man, a he-man, a diplomat, a Democrat with a Republican slant, a Republican with a Democrat viewpoint, and admirer of the Roosevelt way, a hater of the New Deal, a new dealer, an old dealer, and a quick dealer.
6. Learn how to attend six to eight major functions, rushing home and back during each term on one round-trip travel pay.
7. Have the dope on hot spots in town.
8. Learn to be an expert guide. Keep car in tip-top shape.
9. Know names and dates related to all points of interest, and be able to explain and supply information regarding public buildings and statuary about Washington.
10. Be an authority on history, travel, psychology, philosophy, education, economics, civics, finance, export trade, Government printing, international relations, neckties, and fishing tackle.

Good

Hope is the new change
60 is the new 40
Barack is the new Denzel
Bigfoot is the new black
Mark Cuban is the new Martha Stewart
Natural vanilla is the new orange
Pomegranate is the new pink
Twitter is the new Blackberry
Mike Huckabee is the new Ryan Seacrest
Transparency is the new accountability
Amish is the new cool
Unprotected sex is the new marriage

Brandy's Litter