We buried Mozart today. In March of 2001, we came to Addison to pick him up. He has been loved to pieces and experienced all the joys that this life has to offer; family, doggy friends, travel and even a year living at James Madison University where he was the the unofficial campus mascot. Today, he was remembered by many and through Facebook, many have shared in the sorrow of his loss. His passing has been difficult for me because I have spent many years caring for him since he struggled with allergies, brittle bones and finally lymphoma. I have been angry at vets and the steroids they used to treat him because he would jump over a rock when chasing a deer and would hobble home. The pain of his loss is more than I felt when my Dad died, he is irreplaceable and I'm not sure just how life can exist without him. He raised my kids with me through their teenage years and rolled with the punches. Electric fences couldn't stop him and I found myself daily chasing him while he chased a deer through the woods to the Potomac River when we lived in Maryland and finally down Scudder Lane here on Cape Cod, only to wind up seeing the sun rise on the beaches of Barnstable Harbor. A vet came today and we layed on a blanket while he quietly passed. He is buried in my backyard and tonight I will plant white lilies which are called "Gentle Shepherd" because I know now that he will be there to shepherd all who he loved in heavan. I will also plant a Camelia bush there to remind me of all his joys in the South while he partied through many evenings at James Madison. I am in so much pain right now. I prayed to anyone as he passed and that included any angels, dogs that I have loved and God himself that they would embrace him as I had to let go. Thank you for the chance I have had to learn compassion for others, for what it feels like to take care of someone who is sick for a long period of time and for the caregiver who are left without purpose when their loved one passes. I have learned that no one can give me answers to why my 'why's' sound like whines. I have learned that the day I turned into your driveway and saw all the furballs starring at me through your Bay window was a choice I alone made and somehow when I looked at their faces in the dark on that cold March night, I knew what was in store for me. I knew I would love like I never loved before. I knew I would learn about unconditional love." No experience and that includes all my moments in church, my long years of teaching, my human family that I love without measure could ever bring me to my knees like today when I begged for someone, anyone to embrace my little friend as he passed through the shadows of this life and surround him with the magnitude of love that I no longer could express here and now. Life is so short and I hope that soon I will be a good enough person to warrant passing on to the place where I know he is; in Divine Love's embrace, nestled under his wing and in the meantime, I pray for moments when I will feel his cool lick on my cheek and his protective impulse while I continue to walk the paths that we ventured together.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
An E-mail from Debbie to me and Mozart's breeder
On 6/11/09 4:34 PM, "Debbie Myers" wrote:
We buried Mozart today. In March of 2001, we came to Addison to pick him up. He has been loved to pieces and experienced all the joys that this life has to offer; family, doggy friends, travel and even a year living at James Madison University where he was the the unofficial campus mascot. Today, he was remembered by many and through Facebook, many have shared in the sorrow of his loss. His passing has been difficult for me because I have spent many years caring for him since he struggled with allergies, brittle bones and finally lymphoma. I have been angry at vets and the steroids they used to treat him because he would jump over a rock when chasing a deer and would hobble home. The pain of his loss is more than I felt when my Dad died, he is irreplaceable and I'm not sure just how life can exist without him. He raised my kids with me through their teenage years and rolled with the punches. Electric fences couldn't stop him and I found myself daily chasing him while he chased a deer through the woods to the Potomac River when we lived in Maryland and finally down Scudder Lane here on Cape Cod, only to wind up seeing the sun rise on the beaches of Barnstable Harbor. A vet came today and we layed on a blanket while he quietly passed. He is buried in my backyard and tonight I will plant white lilies which are called "Gentle Shepherd" because I know now that he will be there to shepherd all who he loved in heavan. I will also plant a Camelia bush there to remind me of all his joys in the South while he partied through many evenings at James Madison. I am in so much pain right now. I prayed to anyone as he passed and that included any angels, dogs that I have loved and God himself that they would embrace him as I had to let go. Thank you for the chance I have had to learn compassion for others, for what it feels like to take care of someone who is sick for a long period of time and for the caregiver who are left without purpose when their loved one passes. I have learned that no one can give me answers to why my 'why's' sound like whines. I have learned that the day I turned into your driveway and saw all the furballs starring at me through your Bay window was a choice I alone made and somehow when I looked at their faces in the dark on that cold March night, I knew what was in store for me. I knew I would love like I never loved before. I knew I would learn about unconditional love." No experience and that includes all my moments in church, my long years of teaching, my human family that I love without measure could ever bring me to my knees like today when I begged for someone, anyone to embrace my little friend as he passed through the shadows of this life and surround him with the magnitude of love that I no longer could express here and now. Life is so short and I hope that soon I will be a good enough person to warrant passing on to the place where I know he is; in Divine Love's embrace, nestled under his wing and in the meantime, I pray for moments when I will feel his cool lick on my cheek and his protective impulse while I continue to walk the paths that we ventured together.
We buried Mozart today. In March of 2001, we came to Addison to pick him up. He has been loved to pieces and experienced all the joys that this life has to offer; family, doggy friends, travel and even a year living at James Madison University where he was the the unofficial campus mascot. Today, he was remembered by many and through Facebook, many have shared in the sorrow of his loss. His passing has been difficult for me because I have spent many years caring for him since he struggled with allergies, brittle bones and finally lymphoma. I have been angry at vets and the steroids they used to treat him because he would jump over a rock when chasing a deer and would hobble home. The pain of his loss is more than I felt when my Dad died, he is irreplaceable and I'm not sure just how life can exist without him. He raised my kids with me through their teenage years and rolled with the punches. Electric fences couldn't stop him and I found myself daily chasing him while he chased a deer through the woods to the Potomac River when we lived in Maryland and finally down Scudder Lane here on Cape Cod, only to wind up seeing the sun rise on the beaches of Barnstable Harbor. A vet came today and we layed on a blanket while he quietly passed. He is buried in my backyard and tonight I will plant white lilies which are called "Gentle Shepherd" because I know now that he will be there to shepherd all who he loved in heavan. I will also plant a Camelia bush there to remind me of all his joys in the South while he partied through many evenings at James Madison. I am in so much pain right now. I prayed to anyone as he passed and that included any angels, dogs that I have loved and God himself that they would embrace him as I had to let go. Thank you for the chance I have had to learn compassion for others, for what it feels like to take care of someone who is sick for a long period of time and for the caregiver who are left without purpose when their loved one passes. I have learned that no one can give me answers to why my 'why's' sound like whines. I have learned that the day I turned into your driveway and saw all the furballs starring at me through your Bay window was a choice I alone made and somehow when I looked at their faces in the dark on that cold March night, I knew what was in store for me. I knew I would love like I never loved before. I knew I would learn about unconditional love." No experience and that includes all my moments in church, my long years of teaching, my human family that I love without measure could ever bring me to my knees like today when I begged for someone, anyone to embrace my little friend as he passed through the shadows of this life and surround him with the magnitude of love that I no longer could express here and now. Life is so short and I hope that soon I will be a good enough person to warrant passing on to the place where I know he is; in Divine Love's embrace, nestled under his wing and in the meantime, I pray for moments when I will feel his cool lick on my cheek and his protective impulse while I continue to walk the paths that we ventured together.
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