“Rules for a Congressman in Washington”

During the third session of the 76th Congress, on March 18 1940, Rep. Luther Patrick of Alabama outlined before his fellow members of the House of Representatives 10 simple “Rules for a Congressman in Washington” to succeed.

1. Entertain with a smile constituents, their wives, their sons, sons’ wives, etc. Go with them to the White House; show good reason why you are unable to personally have them meet the President; take daughters to meet midshipmen at Annapolis.
2. Explain what bill is up for debate; point for discussion; how it will be passed; how you will vote and why.
3. Attend to the balcony and point out leading members of Congress.
4. Respond to worthy causes; make after-dinner speeches, before-dinner speeches; learn to eat anything, anywhere, any night—work all day, dictate all night, and be fresh as a rain-washed daisy for next day’s duties.
5. Be a cultured gentleman, a teller of ribald stories, a profound philosopher, preserve a store of “Confucius say” gags; be a ladies’ man, a man’s man, a he-man, a diplomat, a Democrat with a Republican slant, a Republican with a Democrat viewpoint, and admirer of the Roosevelt way, a hater of the New Deal, a new dealer, an old dealer, and a quick dealer.
6. Learn how to attend six to eight major functions, rushing home and back during each term on one round-trip travel pay.
7. Have the dope on hot spots in town.
8. Learn to be an expert guide. Keep car in tip-top shape.
9. Know names and dates related to all points of interest, and be able to explain and supply information regarding public buildings and statuary about Washington.
10. Be an authority on history, travel, psychology, philosophy, education, economics, civics, finance, export trade, Government printing, international relations, neckties, and fishing tackle.